Seventh Crisis

Seventh Crisis

on October 23, 2024
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Nixon would joke that writing the book was his seventh crisis, but it would have actually been this.

↓ Transcript
Three panel comicin the north lawn of the White House. Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Nixon's dog Checkers are there.
Panel 1: Nixon holds his book "Six Crises" and says "I wrote Six Crises in 1962. It detailed the most consequential moments of my career up to that point. Where I had to make a decision. And how I find victory even in defeat." Ford says "Nixon, do you think you'll ever face a crisis too big even for you?"
Panel 2: Nixon says "I don't know. Hopefully not."
Panel 3: Nixon starts sweating, "But then again, I've also never been accused of skipping like a dipshit."

Tribute to Jimmy Carter

on February 19, 2023
New Carter design hasn’t appeared in the comic yet, but I think the likeness is much better

Sobering news this week from the Carter Center: “After a series of short hospital stays, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter today decided to spend his remaining time at home with his family and receive hospice care instead of additional medical intervention. He has the full support of his family and his medical team. The Carter family asks for privacy during this time and is grateful for the concern shown by his many admirers.”

If you’d like to honor the former president, the Carter Center is asking for public messages of support: https://cartercenter.kudoboard.com/boards/wellwishes

Two Party Opera is all about presidents, so in honor of the 39th, who even into his 90s seemed determined to build houses for every person on the planet, here are a few of my favorite 2PO comics featuring the great humanitarian and American, Jimmy Carter:

Panel 1: Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan are in front of the White House. A FEMA helicopter hovers in the background. Carter: "You don't find it strange that every year we have a new hurricane that's the biggest we've ever seen?" Reagan: "We'll be ready! Especially after our 'unsung success' last year with Hurricane Maria." Panel 2: Carter: "Unsung success? 3000 Puerto Ricans died! It was a disaster!" Reagan: "Carter, how many people died fighting the British during the revolutionary war? How many died fighting Japan in WWII? those were both islands and you don't hear many people calling those disasters." Panel 3: Carter: "We didn't fight a war against Puerto Rico, we just made it look like we did." Reagan: "Check my math on this, but based on my Reaganomics, the Hurricane Maria relief effort was 1000-times more successful than Vietnam."
Unsung Success
Panel 1: Jimmy Carter is building houses on the White House lawn when a masked Ronald Reagan approaches, keeping a safe distance. Reagan: "Still building houses, Carter?" Carter: "May 1st is in a few days and millions of renters have spent the last month in forced unemployment." Panel 2: Carter: "We already have a historic homelessness crisis, and now, full hotels go empty. If those two things can't connect, then we're going to be in real trouble when the evictions start rolling in. So I'm building housing." Reagan: "Relax. Lots of states and cities now have eviction bans." Panel 3: Carter: "With no enforcement mechanism. What happens when landlords ignore the bans and do it anyway?" Reagan: "Renters will be fine. The eviction would never hold up in a court." Panel 4: Carter: "You think they can afford a lawyer?" Reagan: "Why not? What with all the money they're saving not paying rent!"
Housin’ Around
Panel 1: Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter are talking in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Reagan: "Just think, decades from now, you'll be able to tell your great grandchildren where you were on this great day for civil rights." Carter: "Those don't usually begin with people getting beat up and dragged off planes." Panel 2: Reagan: "Those poor corporate Americans. People have ignored their terms of services for too long!" Carter: "Companies. They're called companies." Panel 3: Reagan: "So beautiful. The conflict. The citizen journalism. The vanquished foe! It even had a classic civil rights motif; someone being asked to give up their seat. Rosa Parks would be very proud." Panel 4: Carter: "You do know that Rosa Parks was not a corporation." Reagan: "We all have our flaws."
Corporate Americans
Title: Two Party Opera presents: The Reaganomics of Disaster Relief Panel 1: Ronald Reagan is in front of the White House. Reagan: "Disaster relief funding has no place in the Republican platform." Panel 2: Reagan: "Look at all the pork added to this bill! Bottled water? They don't need that! They're surrounded by water!" Panel 3: Reagan: "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government, and I'm here to help." Panel 4: Jimmy Carter approaches in a FEMA jacket. Reagan: "We need to let the Free Market handle this." Carter: "That's ridiculous." Panel 5: Carter: "As the creator of FEMA, I feel like I have to say something." Reagan: "Yeah, but I just let that go underfunded and riddled with scandal." Panel 6: Reagan: "Your problem, Jimmy, is that you lack creativity. Think of the sponsorship opportunities. Think of the surge pricing. Think of the memorabilia! People are saved, it's not a burden on the taxpayer, and best of all, profit! All it takes is a little extra time for focus group testing to brand the crisis properly." In the background is a FEMA helicopter with a sign that reads "this rescue was brought to you by SODA," bottles of water marked $100/each, and a t-shirt that reads "I survived Hurricane Harvey 2017" Panel 7: Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan are now up to their necks in flood water. Carter: "What if a natural disaster hit your home state?" Reagan: "That's different. That's where I live."
The Reaganomics of Disaster Relief

Thank you for your service, President Carter.